Let the Children Come...

    It's been a while since I've written anything, mostly because I haven't really felt the urge to write about anything lately. I mean, I know last month the SCOTUS decided they could “redefine” marriage, but better Christians than I have written and re-written about it, so I'll leave it at that.

Just recently, though, my little sister did become engaged and decided on a very short engagement, so that's new, fun, and exciting news for my family. Naturally, the occasion has been bringing up some discussion and even a little bit of comparing here and there. Which brings me to what I really want to write about. Children at weddings!!!

    OK, so I'll start by explaining that, not too long ago, a Facebook friend of mine surveyed his Facebook friends on a status, asking if children should be invited to his wedding. The answers were an overwhelming “nay,” and yes, even I joined in and agreed that children could be disruptive and should perhaps be left out of the ceremony part, if anything. As people kept responding, more and more were in agreement with the “nays”. That was until a women commented in the affirmative, for children attending. This wouldn't have been a big deal for me, really, except her comment was the only one that contained any sort of scripture or biblical content to support her argument in favor of allowing children to attend. With that, I decided to comment again and take back what I said and stand by the only person who was not looking at children as though they were a burden to accommodate.

    This brief Facebook encounter provoked a lot of thought in me. After a while, I turned to my husband and began to talk about this specific topic with him. Almost immediately, he agreed that children, not only should, but must be a part of the celebration of marriage. See, the thing is, wedding celebrations in our society have been so distorted as to make people believe that they have to have this elaborate celebration and the money spent should be spent on things “more important” then accommodating children, and the idea that “weddings are just not for children.” Do not think, for a second, that this line of thinking has not crept into the church. I think it's worth noting that our society also kills it's children at a rate of about 3,500 children a day, so taking notes from society as to how we should treat children when it comes to special occasions like weddings, is not something I'd advise.

    Now, you don't have to take my word for it, just Google: Reasons to Invite Children to Weddings. What you will find is, maybe two articles, with reasons to do so, and as you scroll, you will see article after article discouraging the invitation of children, and all with reasons that basically make children being children out to be burdens that people shouldn't have to bare on important occasions like the celebration of two people joining their lives in holy matrimony. So, why exactly are we upset, at all, that society has this distorted view of marriage (hence SCOTUS ruling) and how to celebrate it, when we are willingly deciding to exclude the rising generation from witnessing what it's like to make a covenant before God and showing them the real importance of this covenant. Forget for a moment that every child may still get to witness at least one wedding in his or her lifetime, that is not the point. The point is, do we really believe that children are a blessing like the bible tells us, or do we believe like the world, that they are a burden and/or wasted space or “headcount”?

    My inclination, at first, was to be the understanding mother of three that thought, “Oh, it's alright, parents could find a sitter so that everyone enjoys the wedding in peace!” Then I realized how wrong, and honestly, how unbiblical it was for me to think that. After changing my mind and thinking about it more, I also realized that it's actually quite offensive for someone to say, “We would really love for you guys to come to our wedding... but not your kids!” Now, this may just be my opinion, and that's ok, I'm not going be dogmatic about it, but I do think that those types of invitations come across a little rude. To say to parents that their children are not welcome is no different then saying, “We love you, but we don't love your children!” And while that could actually be the case, it is no less hurtful, after all children are, by nature, an extension of their parents, so naturally, if children are excluded, parents could, and likely will feel excluded also.

    Now, I know that I may be coming across as “judgy,” maybe “overreacting” a little, or even seem a little “dogmatic”. The truth is, though I know I shouldn't take it personal, I still do, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. See, I do believe that children are a blessing, and not just my own children. The bible calls them an inheritance from the Lord. A gift. To look at them as anything else would be an affront to God. And sure, there is and will be Christians that love children and still decide against having them at their wedding, and that's ok. But Christians be mindful of parents, don't just carelessly think, “Well, if they are truly our friends and want to share this moment with us, they'll understand!” Yes, they are your friend, and they will understand, but you are their friend too, do you understand how you may be making them feel? After all having a wedding does not give any of us a license to disregard our brothers and sisters.

    I don't say any of this to stir up animosity or bitterness, I say all this because I really wish more Christians would realize how important it is to integrate children into our adult lives, because they will be adults one day, whether we are parents or not. I know this is very cliché but in instances like this, it never hurts to ask, “what would Jesus do?” And actually, I personally like, “What DID Jesus do?” better...

Note: The artist of this painting,"Dance of Grace," Mark Keathley, did an amazing job and I believe he has amazing talent. I love the message he is trying to portray with this work of art and it really fits this topic very well, I believe. However, in trying to keep to the second commandment, I did intentionally blur out the face of the 'depicted' Jesus. I mean no offense by doing so, I am simply keeping to my convictions.